You ought to ask magical Mr Mistoffelees
The original conjuring cat
There can be no doubt about that
Please listen to me and don't scoff
All his inventions are off his own bat
There's no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn!
And we all say
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment,
And then it is gone!
But you'll find it next week
Lying out on the lawn
And we all say
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"
(Presto!)
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"
(chorus is repeated several times)
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least, we all heard that somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall
And, not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say,
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"
(chorus is repeated several times)
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I give you:
The magical,
The marvellous,
Mr Mistoffelees!
